What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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