A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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