Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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A man penetrates another man.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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