A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Immigration Laws

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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black chicken. kfc

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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