Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

jibby jobby

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

Emily Walker.

What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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