Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

Whats brown and smells bad poo

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

dead dibbs

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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