Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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You.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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