2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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a seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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woman's lacrosse

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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kushagra tyagi

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops