How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

thumb_up thumb_down -28

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

thumb_up thumb_down -28

guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops