Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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Justin Bieber

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Justin Beiber

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did Jane get pregnant Because she bought a man's semen and put it in her vagina.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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dead dibbs

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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