what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Rick Santorum 2012

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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