Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Poop

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do you have a wife?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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