Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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whats black and large -me

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Justin Bieber

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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womens rights

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops