A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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How are cars made? By magic.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Whats the different betweene a drugdealer and a cop? I dont know but i think they dont have the same wife.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Whats worse then this joke? Its punchline.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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