How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Ted Haggard.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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whats forever alone me

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops