Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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