How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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