What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops