When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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