Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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I would rape her

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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How old are you? 20

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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