Two women were sitting quietly.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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