What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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