The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

Dyslexics are teople poo

What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

Canadians

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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