A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Agent 47.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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its all aodhan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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