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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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