What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Nickelback

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops