Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Dont look at me.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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