knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Apple.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why is your face? Because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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