What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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NASCAR

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Harry Styles

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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out of your comfort zone

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops