Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

fava beans

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Poop swing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops