Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

i cant think of one.

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

Women's rights

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

Kathy Griffin.

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...