What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

thumb_up thumb_down +6

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

thumb_up thumb_down +4

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops