roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

I have Alzheimer. What?

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

Straight men can be bronies.

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

What is long and black The unemployment line

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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