Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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Hi? No!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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