What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Guess What! HI!

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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