A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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Thumbs this down

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Mitt Romney.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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