How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

whats round and like a ball a ball

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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