What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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