How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's better than sex? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You want to hear a joke? Democract

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

thumb_up thumb_down +47

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a man walks into a gay bar. he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops