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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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asian drivers.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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minecraft

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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