How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Josh kissing a girl

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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