Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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9/11

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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