Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Barack Obama

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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