What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Whats another word for Thesaurus?

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Steve Jobs.

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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