How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

( o Y o )

thumb_up thumb_down +20

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Derpy Hooves is retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Teen pregnancy

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops