How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

sky silverstein

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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