Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops