You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops