roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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whats black? the colour

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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