What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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